ITs summer time, this used to be my favorite season, a new adventure every summer. Summers gave me the strength to push on through the fall and winter in hopes of a great new adventure and a calm period before a new storm.

Anna, Laurana, Mika, Three of my closest friends. Three friends I value more than anything. They are in japan by the time anyone reads this. I know I ought to be happy for them, but All I wanted was to be with them. Not only them but everyone is leaving, Gloria is on field work, Shanye is going to visit Seattle and Emily, Someone I look up to alot, well she is running away to college. I am losing old friends I valued as pillars of strength and I find myself basicly alone.

I can hear gloria and Carol saying to me in my head ‘just look as this as a new adventure, or maybe the universe is trying to teach you something.’

Teach me? What do I need teaching? To not rely on people for emotional support? A lesson I thought I needed to learn before I can work my life out? I dont understand it. Everyone feels so Distant and I dont know what to do.

Then, well I went online as I inevitably do. I forget the dear friends and new family I have there. And it reminded me of something I taught myself when this new layout (old now) came up.

“Nothing Hurts Now That diddnt hurt before. So I wont pretend it was the end of the world”

A lyric from the song “nothing hurts now” by magnet. It reminds me, that bad things have indeed been constant, but I am here, I am alive, and I am strong. Where things like my mother, my teeth, my emotions (lol) are similar, almost the same as a year ago, Good things come in to my life every day, good new things. I have my friends at my side, emotionally. I mean I decided along time ago that Thea and George are as close as my heart, so why would Laurana, Anna, Mika, Emily, Gloria, or anyone else for that matter be different?

They arent, I know their friendship protects me where ever I go, and its something I can put more faith in than family (family that has let my teeth rot all to hell, I know I should brush more so its my fault too but god.).

I think I am rambling a little, so let me summerize. The bad, while it may weigh heavy on me and maybe even appear more plentiful than the good in my life, Will always be out weighed by the friends who care about me. They are doing their own thing, AND I am happy for them. I hope to be with some of them summer 09 chillin in japan.

guys, please email me though. I do need that much.

Trackback Post

Related Posts